Hard working, broke, constantly tired--and somehow enjoying it.

For the past 2 months I have been a part of Nola Pictures. It takes up all my time and sucks all my energy. I don't get paid well (at all) but have still managed to pay the deposit on my new apartment in Williamsburg Brooklyn. For those of you who don't know, I've been at my dad's place (in the same area) for the past month or so. Sleeping on a hard futon mattress has caused my back to ache and some restless evenings. BUT my how life speeds up when you put all your time and effort into it. I found (or rather WAS found) by two sweet girls. The three of us found the "perfect" place right off of the Bedford stop in Brooklyn.

It is our perfect 5 room RR apartment in the sky. We also have one of the best landlords. Here is why: "Hey Bill, here is the envelope with all of our money, do you want to double check it?" "No, I trust you girls."

I'll post images soon.

After the keys were dispersed, we scurried to our new home for the next 12 months. Such character the place has. We celebrated with a bottle of champaign that was graciously bought by Margaret's boyfriend, Timothy and talked about how we needed to swiffer the floors, paint the walls and play Cranium.

Amongst that night, other conversation was verbalized and I came to the realization of two things (1) I need to work on my argument skills! and (2) I really have no clue what I want to do with myself.

I have a job at a production company, went to a liberal art school, learned about film/video production, and discovered a passion for the arts. As much as college was a learning experience, it didn't prepare me for anything. Bard is a bubble where the real world doesn't apply. For four years, its wonderful, but then you leave and it has taught you very little. I've also realized that it doesn't matter how much fancy equipment you have or how many expensive computer programs, but your skill is what matters. If you were given a tool box and some wood, would you make a shelf or just boast about the large quantity of shiny tools you owned?

That reminds me of a conversation I had with Georgia about one of her friends. He blocks out times of his day and forces himself to do art, no matter how tired he is. Its a sad concept to have to force yourslelf to do something you love. But in reality, if you don't force yourself to work on a skill, you lose everything you've learned. I'm afraid if I were to step foot in a figure drawing class, my work would be comparable to a 10 year old (which in our modern society isn't always a bad thing). When you haven't worked on something for such a long time its scary to think you might fail at something you once succeeded at. But its having that vulnerability and the courage to deal with that that makes you stronger at your skill.

And I've learned this and though about it all within the span of 10 minutes. These thoughts are nothing new to me. I've thought of them and re thought them over and over again. Its about time I stop thinking about them and start to practice my creativity again.

Lets see what happens.

Jenn